Trying something new…

try something new

Ever hear the expression ‘variety is the spice of life’?

I happen to agree with that sentiment. I love going to new places, trying new things and meeting new people. It’s exciting.

Sometimes it backfires though. This is one of those tales…




Every Christmas Eve my brother C and I hang out.

During the day we play football, we then go back to mine to play Mario Kart on the SNES and watch the Back to Future films. We have done this every year since we were kids.

Who wouldn't want to spend every Christmas with the Doc?

Who wouldn’t want to spend every Christmas with the Doc?

He fancied a change this year. I agreed. I think the fact that we now live together means that hanging out together is less unique than it has been on previous years.

We agreed to go out drinking.

Our other housemate is in too. His girlfriend has gone home to The Midlands for Christmas so he has no plans.

After football we head to the pub. We’ll have a couple of drinks before we head home to wash, eat and get changed.

At the pub our housemate finds himself in a drinking game with a man twice his size (he calls himself competitive, I call him an idiot!).

Long story short: the housemate drinks 13 Jager Bombs in the space of 2 hours.

After 3 hours he is ready for bed.

He looked a bit like this...albeit less classy!

He looked a bit like this…albeit less classy!

So C and I put the housemate to bed, sort ourselves out and go to our favourite place to get drunk.

It is an Indie Music bar/club located not too far from our house.

Once inside we immediately run into several familiar faces. 2 of these being my friends Morgan and Natalie.

Interesting footnote: my brother has a crush on Morgan. I believe that she is well aware of this and enjoys the attention he pays her.

We have been in the bar roughly 20 minutes. C and I each have a drink in begin to make our way towards the dance floor as soon as we hear the opening chords of ‘Panic’ by The Smiths.

Before Morrissey finishes his first line the music stops, the lights come on and we notice that the place is swarming with bouncers and police.

Turns out that place does not have a Monday license and must close immediately.

Uncharacteristically, Morrissey is not happy about this!

Uncharacteristically, Morrissey is not happy about this!

Morgan and Nat find us outside.

“where are you going now?”

C and I look at each and simultaneous say “where we’re going, we don’t need roads..”

(Yeah we’re dorks.)

The girls look confused.

“um…well there’s a rock night at this club up the road. Fancy it?”

I didn’t. C did. Of course he did, Morgan was going.

Upon entering the club I knew we’d made a mistake.

Each room was full to the brim with big guys wearing leather jackets. Virtually all of them were sporting big beards and tattoos also.

The girls failed to tell us that it wasn’t a strictly rock night. It was more of a ‘metal’ night.

A lot of him looked like this guy. Only scarier.

A lot of him looked like this guy. Only scarier.


I should mention that C is what I would call a ‘pretty boy’. He looks like Zac Efron. He was wearing the pretty boy uniform of Toms, Chino, a scooped neck t-shirt and an unbuttoned denim shirt. It was something one of those One Direction lads would wear.

I looked like me. Dorky and uncomfortable. Bit like that Lead Singer from Weezer. People kept on telling me this anyways.

We stood out.

We went to the bar. We ordered a rum and coke each. That was a mistake. The woman working behind the bar gave us a look that I imagine someone would give you if you told them you mutilate bunnies as a hobby. Something about her gave me the impression she may have liked that though.

With our drinks we stood out further.

Off to the dance floor we go. Big mistake.

At metal bars they love to mosh.

I love going to gigs and am partial to a mosh from time to time. However as everyone in the place was twice my size I was tossed around like I was a rag doll. It was not fun.

mosh pit


I saw Nat. She had been watching me us was laughing. A lot.

She is not having a great time either. She has been kind-of ditched by Morgan. Nat chooses this point to tell me she is leaving to go meet her boyfriend. I bid her goodnight.

As an afterthought she mentions that Morgan only dragged her here as her new boyfriend is DJing there tonight.

Uh oh.

I try to find C in order to spare him discovering this fact himself.

I was too late.

He’d seen her kissing the DJ.

I turn to him…

“shall we call it a night C?”

“yeah bro”

Those damn DJ's get all the chicks...

Those damn DJ’s get all the chicks…

I woke up this morning on one of the 2 sofas we have in our living room. C was sound asleep on the other. Our SNES is out and sprawled across our living room floor.

The DVD Menu screen for Back to the Future is blaring out from our TV. There is an empty Dominos pizza box on the floor as well as 2 half drunken cups of Hot Chocolate.

I wake him up. We have to get up and go to our mums for Christmas dinner in a few hours time.

As we tidy the mess, C looks at me

“next year let’s just do the usual, yeah?”





PS – Merry Christmas to all of you from Project Southsea. You are all lovely human beings.


About Project Southsea

I blog mostly about my adventures in awkwardness.
This entry was posted in Humour, Humour/Awkwardness and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Trying something new…

  1. H. Stern says:

    HA! Sorry about your friend, but lesson learned, huh? Maybe next year, you just invite a few friends over for a movie night, instead of going out. Also: JESUS!! JAEGER BOMBS?! Je.Sus.

  2. sociopathicuttlefish says:

    Man, I feel sorry for your brother. Sounds like the jaegerbombs friend would’ve been more at home at the metal bar!
    Also, merry Christmas dude 🙂

  3. frequentneed says:

    Always safe with the ‘usual’ 🙂

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