Am I alone in having drunk friends?
Before I go any further, I feel I should clarify.
When I say ‘drunk friends’, I do not mean friends who are under the influence of alcohol and therefore, by traditional definition, drunk.
What I am referring to is friends that you have maybe made whilst drunk and who you only really ever tend to see when the pair of you are drunk.
I have several.
Being the ‘man about town’ that I am (I realise you can’t see my face or hear my voice as I say this out loud so I should let you know that I meant that sarcastically) I frequent the bars of Southsea a fair amount. As Portsmouth is a small place, you tend to run into the same faces regularly.
Thinking about it, I am worried that maybe my drunk friends have a bad perception of me. I have documented previously that drunk people are dicks. Maybe my drunk friends think that of me?
However, i’m afraid that this is a matter to be pondered another time. You see, that is not what I want to write about today.
I ran into a drunk friend today whilst walking home from our City Centre.
We were both sober. It was odd.
Her name is Chloe. I see her out and about most weeks. Although we are Facebook friends and I have her mobile number. We have never spoken soberly.
It was really uncomfortable.
It is at this stage that I should probably tell you that my brother/housemate C slept with Chloe on New Years Eve.
Yeah I know.
Having spoken to C , I know about this. I also know that he is not called, emailed facebooked or text her since. I also know that Chloe has called and text C a few times. He has ignored them.
In the words of Alex Turner: “he’s a scumbag don’t ya know”.
So after about 20 seconds of awkward small talk the conversation turns to C.
I tried to cover for him.
“yeah…he’s good…umm…he’s been real busy with work and stuff.”
I should have stopped there but I continued.
“and…er…he is away right now…and his is phone is broken so he is pretty annoyed at the mo…”
I could see this appease her somewhat. I mentally patted myself on the back.
Then my phone rang.
Again, I need to jump in here quickly.
I am not good at answering my phone. This infuriates my friends. C rings me a lot and gets extremely wound up at me never answering my phone. So much so that he made his own ringtone on my phone (he has been off the work the past week so has not had much to do). My headphones weren’t in as I had just been on the phone to my mum. My phone was on loud.
The ring tone is C shouting at me. It goes like this:
“JAAAAAAY YOU SCHLAAAAAG! IT’S C. YES, YOUR FAVOURITE BROTHER C! STOP IGNORING ME AND ANSWER YOUR PHONE…YOU JERK!!!”
Chloe looked at me. So did everyone else who was standing around.
In my panic I answered.
“can’t talk now C. I’ll talk to ya at home in a bit”
Chloe looked angry.
“You’re a prick!”
I stared at my shoes, I felt like I was being told off. I suppose I was.
“..and that brother of yours is an absolute wanker!”
To be fair, she has a point.
She stormed off.
Obviously as soon as she was out of sight I called C
Now we’re gonna go out and get drunk tonight. He’s buying!
I need to. Having seemingly lost one, I have new drunk friends to make.