An update on the lying story…


Those of you who read my blog regularly will know that I try to avoid lying. When I do, I get into trouble.

If you not are aware of this then I will give you a moment to catch up. You can read the whole story here

… all caught up? Good.

I would like to thank all of you who chipped in with some advice. I really appreciated it.

After much soul searching, I decided that I would come clean to Jason (but not the others) as he was the most vocal about going for the meal and I knew would understand why I lied. Then I could gradually phase out the fake girlfriend from conversation until she has been entirely forgotten about.

So I had a meeting with Jason on Monday. As I am in charge of recruitment for our small company I needed to his input on some recruitment issues.

After business was taken care of, I came clean and told him everything.

He said he understood and said that he would help me in sweeping this whole matter under the rug. He said he had an idea that would diffuse the situation entirely.

Despite some questionable moments on Jason’s part (such as once pronouncing ‘quiche’ as ‘quick-itchy’, genuinely believing that Oscar Wilde is a Sesame Street character, thinking that solar power is ‘something to do with space travel’ and once stapling his tie to a contract) I trusted him when told he that he had a great idea and would take care of it.

today's episode was brought to you by the word 'dumbass'...

today’s episode was brought to you by the word ‘dumbass’…


We had been back in the office for roughly 20 minutes when Jason speaks up.

“so guys, Jay has just told me that he has ended things with the girl he was seeing…”

Everyone stops what they are doing and looks at me. Jason continues.

“…it turns out that she is gay and is getting back together with her female ex…”

I did not really know how to respond to that. No one did.

“…he’d rather not talk about it so let’s leave it there.”

I just smiled awkwardly, put my head down and carried on with my work.

The rest of room were in a stunned silence too. I had a feeling that they either wanted to talk to me about it, or (most likely) wait until I was out of the room to talk about it.

Jason then looked at me, winked and gave me a thumbs up!

I know that he meant well but the guy is clearly an idiot! That was not going to be swept under the rug. Not by my co-workers! I should have known better really.

You see, when I got to the office this morning to discover that the name on my email signature had been changed to ‘Dr. Ross Gellar’.

I also had an email from Charlie. It read:

“sorry to hear about the whole lesbian business mate. Maybe taking my sister out for a drink would cheer you up?”

Basically, I am back to square one here.

That’ll teach me to lie!



About Project Southsea

I blog mostly about my adventures in awkwardness.
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23 Responses to An update on the lying story…

  1. dsantos85 says:

    Sorry to hear about that! Not going to lie though, Dr. Ross Gellar totally made me laugh out loud.

  2. I can’t lie well either.It’s a good sign of your character!

  3. riliye says:

    Ahahahaha…so much for trying to do the right thing! The worst part is, now you’re trapped in a truly horrible lie with an idiot (Sorry Jason, I mean it in the kindest way possible). The good news? Charlie thinks you’re good enough for his sister! Either this says a lot about you, or she’s a real trollop and he figures it’ll cheer you up. Hahah!

    Oh, and I thought of something for you. Next time your co-workers try to set you up with someone, why don’t you just tell them that you don’t date friends/relatives of co-workers, just because you don’t want to make things awkward at work should a relationship end badly.

    Only problem with that is that you’d have to abide by it. Better check to see if Charlie’s sister is hot, first.

    • More great advice. You ever thought of writing a column?

      The line about not getting involved with friends/relatives of co-workers is a great idea and one that shall used from here on out.

      Oh, and I have met Charlie’s sister. All I will say is that she is not my cup of tea (hopefully you read between the lines here)…

  4. Rachael Jess says:

    It sounds like Jason was having a bit of fun at your expense for fibbing.

    Do what the rest of us do – grab a mate and pretend they are your girlfriend/boyfriend for the night. My friend used this just last weekend when some guy wouldn’t leave her alone.

    Looks like Charlotte’s sister’s going on the meal then :p

  5. nuttycow says:

    I’m with Rachael on this one – you should have grabbed a mate, asked her to pose as the girlf and then “broken up” with her a week or so later. It always seems to work on films 😉

    However, not being able to lie, or not liking to lie, is not a bad thing. I wish more men had that skill!

    • I like the idea of referring to it as a skill.

      Thanks for putting a positive spin on things nuttycow (it’s hard to say your name without it sounding like an insult, this was not my intention!).

  6. hermitageno8 says:

    So now you know never to tell Jason anything important again!!!
    You could always go for a drink with Charlie’s sister and make sure she never wants to date you again – suggest no strings sex; hint that you are into swinging; talk about Star Wars/Star Trek as if you believe they are true; drone on about football as if it is interesting; mention that you don’t think it is natural to wash with soap; say you are a nudist; talk about your “ex” as if you are a bit of an obsessive stalker type. Just a few ideas to put the girl off!!! It is so much easier for women, if we don’t want a second date we just need to say how loudly the biological clock is ticking!!!

    • Ha. All good ideas!

      Truth be told I think that simply being myself and letting my real personality shine through would result in her never wanting to see me again anyways. That’s how it normally happens!

  7. frequentneed says:

    I feel so embarrassed for you. I should have been there and pretended to be your gay girlfriend. Sigh. I’m sorry

    • rockmystar says:

      Lol to you and also to hermitageno8!
      There is always a reason behind everyone’s life and how it is being lived.
      I think you like your awkward life or at least some situations in it.
      If not: Decide for yourself, say it out loud if necessary, to get more harmony between you and your friends as you get more honest and straight. Don’t forget to decide that you gradually get honest.
      Life gets easier this way…

    • Ha. Apology accepted Frequentneed. Maybe next time?

      • frequentneed says:

        next times yes 🙂 I just need plenty of advance notice

      • Frequentneed – I shall get in touch with you as soon as I am aware that your services are required. Hopefully this will give you enough time to get here.

        Rockmystar – I am sure that the reason for my life will uncover itself soon enough. Getting more harmony between my friends and I sounds lovely. How would I go about this in a practical sense? 🙂

  8. Pingback: Can males and females be friends? | Project Southsea blog

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