In my last post I mentioned that I have recently been free of awkwardness.
Well I spoke too soon.
This weekend was not the greatest in recent memory. Whilst no major tragedy occurred and nothing of note went on, there were enough little incidents that happened to me to make me a little paranoid that the world is conspiring against me over Saturday and Sunday.
It was a bit like that awkward day I had a while back, just this time it was stretched out over 2 days instead of 1.
Now I know I am prone to writing lengthy posts so I will try and keep this brief and present my weekend to you in bullet point form:
– The football match I was scheduled to be playing in was postponed due to rain. As I was updating my phone software I missed the call about this. I ended up waiting outside the ground for 30 minutes until the voicemail came through. That was annoying.
– I got home. C & I called our mum (we put her on speaker) and asked her what she wanted for Mother’s Day. She asked for Ann Summers vouchers (those of you who do not know of Ann Summers should follow this link). That was upsetting. So stunned was I by her request that I hung up on her.
– I went to visit my granddad as it was his birthday. I offered to buy him lunch. He said he would rather sit alone and watch TV. This bruised my ego a tad.
– Walking through town a woman stopped me and asked if I could participate in a survey. It was for young men aged 16-19. I am much older than this but pretended to be 18. My already frail ego was now shattered.
– Back home I spent 45 minutes looking for my glasses. Only for R’s girlfriend to arrive and point out that they were on my face the whole time! I felt stupid.
– I met a friend for a drink. The instant our jackets came off I realised we were dressed the same. Exactly the same! Same shoes and everything! It was creepy.
– After quickly changing, we went to meet another friend who has just been dumped. He moaned about her a lot. His now ex is my cousin. She rang me whilst I was with him and moaned about him a lot. I am uncomfortable being in the middle of this.
– I awoke to the sound of C and his girlfriend. They were having sex. Loudly. Again.
– In the kitchen I ran into a half asleep and very hungover R. He needed water. He was in nothing but his underwear and was quite clearly sporting an erection! This upset me.
– It was Mothers Day so I went to my mums (minus the vouchers, we gave her cash instead). I asked my stepdad if he would be going to see his mum. I forgot she died last year. He was fine with it though.
– Mothers Day dinner turned into a family discussion about my life as a singleton. This got worse when my mum and aunt began discussing my sex life and pulling methods. It was odd.
– Back home I sat on my glasses. They are now beyond repair.
So that was my weekend.
For once I was actually thankful that Monday had arrived. This is something of a rarity for me.