The EX-Files

I have been in 2 serious relationships in my life. One of the many upsides to this is that I only have 2 ex girlfriends.

I ran into both ex girlfriends yesterday.

In the morning I got on the train and the only remaining seat was next to ex number 1. I didn’t realise it was her until I was already sat down. I feared the worst when I realised the situation. However, after 5 minutes of awkward chit-chat, the train arrived at her stop and she got off. A sense of relief coursed through my veins as I felt that I had a dodged a majorly awkward bullet there.

I then saw the most recent ex walking down the street as I walked home from work. This exchange did not go as smoothly as the first.

Whilst she and I are on good terms these days and text each other every now and then, I had not actually seen her in the flesh for roughly a year! It was a strange thing seeing her right in front of me. I must confess that I was a little pleased to see, however this was because she was looking a little rougher than I remembered.

Anyways, there she was, walking no more than 10 yards in front of me (and at an annoyingly slow pace too!).

As I am a mature individual (and am able walk quicker than a tortoise with 2 broken legs) I knew that I would have to overtake her and, therefore, engage her in conversation. As it was so bloody cold outside I wanted to get home as quickly as possible and taking an alternative route was not an option.

After weighing up the various options and ways of initiating conversation in my head I decided that the most appropriate course of action would be to run up behind her, jump up in the air and grab her whilst shouting “boo” and, therefore, scaring her shitless!

Now I realise that, as ice breakers go, there are better ones available. However that little voice inside my head went “screw it” and I went for it anyways. Besides, she was always a bit weird so I knew she’d see the funny side.

…it wasn’t her

However, in an ironic coincidence, the girl who I did scare had a right hook that was strangely similar to that of my ex.

(*Legal Disclaimer* – my ex girlfriend did not actually beat me!)

 

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About Project Southsea

I blog mostly about my adventures in awkwardness.
This entry was posted in Humour/Awkwardness and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to The EX-Files

  1. awkwardcharm says:

    Nooooo!! Hahaha. That poor girl. And your poor eye. Very funny!!

    • I have never seen someone go from terrified to confused to angry in such a short space of time!

      I would have apologised more but I was busy trying to dodge punches! I am hoping I do not run into that girl anytime soon.

  2. Ouch. I felt the pain of the awkwardness (more than the right hook) from reading this.

  3. hacken2013 says:

    WAHAHAHAHA! I like you!! Had our life paths been different, maybe we could have been exes… *sigh*

  4. hermitageno8 says:

    so funny! I can’t imagine being able to joke like that with an ex – I never managed to stay friends with any of mine, but would relish the chance to punch one (or all of) them!

    • Well as we were together for such a long time (6 years) and ended things amicably it would be a shame not to be on good terms.

      Maybe one of your ex’s will creep up behind you and shout boo? That would give you carte blanche to punch to your hearts content!

  5. frequentneed says:

    I did laugh out loud 🙂
    Quite a bit
    X
    Is that appropriate here?

  6. H. Stern says:

    BAH HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEST ENDING TO A POST EVER!!!!! I love it!!!

  7. Humorous and short post. Fun reading!

  8. Ellen says:

    Hahahaha! I have always wondered what would happen if I thought I saw someone I knew and it turned out that it wasn’t after I started talking…I guess now I know that pretty much the worse case scenario would be getting punched in the face =P

    • Haha! That is very much the worse case scenario!

      I think you will be able to avoid taking a blow to the face if you don’t sneak up on the person from behind and then proceed to shout boo whilst jumping at them though. 🙂

  9. Oh, you just made my day.

  10. *blushes* – awww you are too kind.

  11. Shanique says:

    My first time here and I have to read about a right hook to your eye. I laughed too. You poor thing

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